Revelations

There was this guy at work. He was in my training class. Quite the character and also a real sweetie - or so i thought.

From day one he was pursuing me. "Come on, he'll never know." along with the "Just once and i wont bother you again." And so so many other statements to go with it.

To be honest 'going' for/with him never crossed my mind. He was a good friend and nothing more. I have my daddy - he gives me what i need and then some. He is EXACTLY what my entire being needs. No one can give me that. No one.

Well as friends go - you trust them. Sure i didn't give him all the skeletons in the closet but i did share some things with him that I'd rather not get out at work. (of my past with pecker head) My understanding with employers is that if they find out your a 'fugitive' from a very abusive spouse and that you have a restraining order and that you even after all this time would be terrified if you saw him because he stated I'm NEVER going to let you leave me.. well they would see you as a liability and try to find some way to get rid of you. So i kept it under my hat - mostly. I shared that part of me with him.

Well a bit ago he got fired. Of course there were rumors that go around as to why exactly. No one believes those really do they? We emailed back and forth . He still proclaims his undying love for me. Wants us to be together blah blah blah. To which he is still to this day is shot down. Sorry (actually NO I'm not) buddy..i will not waiver on this one.

Well today a female co-worker comes over to me and asks if she can talk to me. So I go with her outside. She asked me outright if there was something going on between him and i. I answered her with the truth. I have never ever seen him outside of work - and i wont be, period. That there is nothing going on beyond a completely platonic friendship.

Come to find out she has been seeing him since April. She is/was married. She claims she wrecked her whole life for him because she loves him. Because he promised her the same things he promised me. Because he loves her and her alone. Because he wanted to live with her and enjoy life. Come to find out he really was/is sleeping with at least 3 other women (one whom says she is carrying his child). One gives oral 'favors' and then there is her.

She was devastated when she was telling me all this. I truly feel for her. It was like her heart was ripped out of her body. Poor dear. And she cried - no sobbed. And i hugged her. She called herself stupid for getting involved with him and myself smart for not bothering (which really was never a question as to if i would ever get involved with him-i think she gives me far too much credit. I know I'm owned and deliciously so. I know i didn't get permission for any 'extra curricular activities' soo....)

For me - he was someone that i valued their belief in honesty. Their sense of family. That held strong religious beliefs and truly tried to live to what they were taught in their religion (even though I'm not religious - i still think highly of those who try to live that way) Come to find out it was all a scam. And if he can lie to her on something that is so very important - what else has he done on his word that he gave me not to say anything to anyone?

His word is worth nothing to me.

She feels that she will never be able to trust anyone as much as she did again. On her level i can completely understand that. He is so incredibly smooth its unreal. The type that could sweep a person off their feet and treat them like a princess I'm sure. For me it will be hard to trust friends with what is going on with my life. And i have precious few of them in this city. I guess I'm one less now....

Soon she will be moving onto another job. I do hope she finds something that appeals to her. I as well hope that she keeps in touch. I really like her and would like to one day call her my friend.

~me