Insights and what not

It's been a busy few days in the life of me. *thinks* isn't it always with me though? Ya... i guess it is. I do know that when i move 'home' that i will slow down. I will have no choice. Until then i will do what must be done.

I have seen a side of my sir that I can say surprised me entirely. It also confused me greatly. One of the trainer guys overheard me talking at work over my issue with my HORRID financial situation and the need to find a suitable place for my daughter and i. He came over and said i have just the place. In the lower level of my house. I can build up a wall with a lockable door and you will have the privacy you need. No worries of first or last months rent until this blows over. If you cannot afford the rent on month that is fine - just give me what you can. I know what its like to be a single parent and struggle to make ends meet. $800.00 EVERYTHING included and i mean everything. Internet, phone, cable, utilities, pool/hot tub use, use of ALL appliances AND washer/dryer.

So he told me the story of the lower level. He purchased the house 3 years ago. Built it from scratch so he, his son and his elderly mother could live there. So he could take care of her as she could no longer live fully on her own. Down on the lower level was her living quarters. A living room, full bathroom, HUGE eat in kitchen with cherry cupboards and a corian counter top and two big bedrooms. She wanted a shallow pool and hot tub for therapy so he put one in for her as well (grant you he uses them as well but he put them there for her)

Recently she has taken to falling often. The ambulance over at his home more often then not. So after the last trip to the hospital his mother decided to place herself into a retirement home. So he could live his life and do what he wishes. Up came the now empty lower level.. and in came me.

My sir did/does not like the idea AT ALL. He does not like the idea of me living in "some guy's" house. He does not like that one entrance (the front entrance) enters into his open house. He finally said that i could get it on two conditions. That the wall is IN PLACE before i bring any of my stuff in and that its secure with a locking door.That i only use the front entrance to get into my part of the house when its an emergency. That i get my own phone line.

He still does not seem impressed in the slightest about it at all. However i will NOT come across a better deal in this nice of a house.

Thing is.. i can understand his concern - i share them as well, but Ken seems like a nice guy. I know of him at work. He's really nice and for the love of God i'd love to believe there are still nice people out there in the world! I like to think that mean nasty things that can happen in situations like this only happen to other people. Thing is.. i don't see me as being one that would turn heads. (apparently i do - lots of them) He said he will NOT have someone else touching what he owns. That he is frustrated that he lives so far away that he cannot come to ensure we're safe.

Then part of me thinks.. then maybe he'll move this process along faster so i can go home??.. then i feel guilty...

But end part of this story is that we are moving. He said it was ok. I am sure the first chance he can get he will drive up to meet Ken and see the place first hand. Maybe then he will be a bit at ease. I dont like seeing him worry. But in this instance i have little i can do to fix it.

I go see the lawyer tomorrow to fix this financial nightmare my son's father cast upon me. I still have no idea how one guy can be SO mean to another human being. Frig.. what the hell have i done to him to deserve getting a 400.00 pay check every TWO weeks?! No one can live on that.. no one.

S17 is coming over tomorrow. His grandmother will be dropping him off since she has to come into the city. He called to ask if its ok for his grandmother to do so. I said hell ya! (saves me gas in the car when im so broke i dont even have two pennies to rub together and gas is at 1.04 a liter! - Yes thats right.. over 4 dollars a gallon) He will be with me till i drop him off on monday. I have not decided weather or not to tell him what his father as done. Thing is.. i have no place for him to go. So he'd have to be angry at his father AND live there. Not good. Then again my ex husband (D14's dad) offered him a place to go to if he wished. There would be no harm in that.

The thing that burns me even more is that my S17's father convinced him to turn down two apprenticeship offers and go back to HIGH SCHOOL instead. I could just run him down for this! And for what?! So he could get child support from me for longer?! What the hell kind of parent does this?! Never mind the stress he's put on me. My nerves are shot. I have no idea most days how im going to make ends meet. In fact i bought D14's school stuff on my credit card that is almost maxed out because i have to live off it as it is. UGH.

Cant wait till tomorrow to see how the lawyer can fix this. Im not completely opposed to paying child support. Im opposed to paying a 1/4 of my pay for a child that is working full time! and im opposed to it because his father convinced him to turn down two damn good paying jobs in a city that is dieing work wise. The well runs VERY dry here job wise.. and 16,000 more people are due for layoff in September. Yay us.

But all in all things are moving around.
I have to start packing. I wish to be fully moved come October. That also means going through things and getting rid of the accumulated crap. Sorta like spring cleaning..... but only i have the promise of a bit of a financial breather.......

.... until we meet again....
~me