The search begins

Today i took the day off of work to try to get some things sorted out with mum's care.

I am happy to report that i have got some things worked out. Her coverage does indeed NOT expire. She is covered for life. Mum does have an issue of a pension that will convert from one to the other but thats it.

Yay on medical coverage!

I spent the rest of the day going from long term facility to the next trying to find one that i would put my mum into.

I must say i encountered some of the most disgusting places i have EVER seen in my entire life! OMG the stench of some of these places along with the care (or lack there of) with the residents. Alot of these places were just plain sad and depressing. I would not put my DOG in some of these homes let alone my parent!!!

I did however find two. One that is good in the interim - one that i will have as her ultimate home to live at. I still didn't get out to one of them. I may do so tonight after she is sleeping. The one in the interim is BLOCKS from my work (like 3 to 4) So i could walk there the nights D14 is with her father and spend time with mum there till she goes to bed.

I am thankful that mum still has all her marbles. That she ultimately has the say in weather she will stay at which ever place. I have taken up the task of finding a suitable 4 to take her to. From there... she can decide.

I think my standards for long term care are too high though. I found myself asking myself - Would YOU stay here? The answer with her 'final destination' was oh hell ya!' The interim one was... 'well it would do in a pinch' (which is exactly what we are in) the rest the answer was "id disown my kids if they EVER put me in a place like this!"

Mum has the luxury (and believe me it is when it comes to this) to be able to afford a private room. A place she can call her own. Here she will have her own bathroom and closet and room. Here she can decorate it as she chooses. Here she can go to bed when she wants and not have to worry of her "room mate" staying up half the night to watch star trek re-runs. Not that there is anything wrong with star trek - its just not mum's cup of tea!

So now... i have to take some mornings from work and bring her from spot to spot so she can see what each looks like and decide from there.

Her time in the house may be as short as a week... can be as long as 6 to 8 months.

Regardless.... my life is once again about to dramatically change.... and I'm not sure i'm quite ready for this next step. Even IF its a good thing.

my God... what am I going to do with all my new found free time?!

*blinks*
I just don't know. For the past.... forever it seems.. i have taken care of mum. Now what?!

I can imagine i will feel obligated to go to the residence EVERY night... which sir will appease for a short while then he will tell me thats enough and cut me back. I have in the past bent over backwards to always ensure i was with mum in the evenings after work (when she spent 6 months in the hospital a few years back) I am sure sir will not like me returning to that stage of my life.

I don't know.... but there is no need to get all frazzled about it now. What i discuss here may happen as soon as next week... as long as 8 months from now.


~me