Lonely

I'm just lonely tonight.

Then again i find that most nights im lonely. The bed just a little too big - the room a little empty.

There are lots of things i wish for - but the main one is i want to be at home.

I dont want to run things on my own. I want help to do so. I would love my list waiting for me at the coffee pot. Outlining my day. No need to worry over bills or being late for work or OMG the laundry monster ate my laundry room - again!

I just want to be me.

I feel like the longer im way out here.. the less i feel ... me.

I stuffed this part of myself away for a great many years. I like being able to be free within my fences. I dont want to go back to the way it was... not ever.

... maybe im just lonely...

Missing My Sir
Missing my friends from the other city

missing what it was like when we were away. That was heaven on a stick and OOOhhh so perfect. Like being in a very real dream - the waking up realizing that yup.. your life is still chaos.. it still sucks.. and there is no end of it in sight.

blah.. im gonna go to bed. So i can wake up and start a new happy day all over again! Weeeee