Marks.. and babies.

Today i will finish painting D14's room. What has to be done is the ceiling - joy. But that should not take long and hopefully ONE coat will do it. I sorta got a little overzealous with the red paint and got the ceiling a few times then i care to count!

Last night i painted the trim on the floor and round the door and closet black. I still have black paint on my hands that will come off eventually. Why is it that it stays on your nails but not your hands?! Oh well... i have to re French the nails anyway. Daddy likes them like that. *smiles*

Speaking of him.... while we were away i got the ass he owns spanked and damn good too! It was not the first time for this.. definitely wont be the last. I looked in the mirror last night and to my shock the mark is gone! No more. That actually made me sad. It was sorta reassuring that HE put it there. WE both loved it done. And that every time i looked at it.. and God yes it was often!.. i smiled hapily. Feeling completely grounded. Not that i don't feel grounded with it gone.. it just sucks that it is.

A long time ago Daddy told me that he will put his mark on the back he owns in time. (In time meaning for me - not this weekend littleone) Basically will be in the same area as anyone's "tramp stamp" - as D14 calls them. I always wondered how i would feel about having something that he wants on the body he owns. After having that mark on the arse he owns i have discovered that i will LOVE it there! (or anywhere)

Now im actually excited and anxious to get it done. Forget about the needles (cringes) i just want it done!

I have a girl issue that is rather annoying. "The thing that has no name" simply will NOT go away! I'm good for a day or two then whamo back to spotting for 4. Then repeat, repeat, repeat. Daddy says go call the dr for that referral to the gyn. But thing is.. i don't want to get ANY surgeries done without him to wake up to. Sorry.. i don't want to do the whole hospital thing alone. To be very very honest - I'm not so sure of this getting my tubes thing done either.

I dated a rather mean guy. While dating him i decided that i would never wish to buy a house again. Never want a new car (both those lead to obscene debt that i will never get out of) and most importantly that i didn't want anymore kids. I was SO unhappy there. Thankfully that was a lifetime ago (or so it seems) Now.... Daddy comes along..and i suddenly find myself wanting all the things i told myself no on. Daddy is 41, I'm 34. Still young enough to have more if he wished. Both our youngest s are 14. One turned in the spring.. the other will turn in the fall. I mean.. am i even nuts for suggesting such a thing to myself?!

I don't even know how to bring this desire up to him at all. If he says outright no i will be devastated. If he says maybe and the maybe never happens.. i'll be disappointed - eventually. If he says yes I'll be like... lets start now!!

I don't know how to address it. Will it be one of those... she wants one.. i don't so set her free?! That terrifies me to no end.

His older children both say it would be way cool and ok with them if we did have one (like he needs permission) D14 says it would be sorta cool. (Her father and step mother have been trying for years to conceive. Unfortunately they have not. Infertility is something i would not wish on anyone - not even my worse enemy.) On the drive home we saw a truck filled with stuff. On the top was a toddler bed made of metal. I commented on how cute it was. He smiled and said "yeah and if im crazy enough to tell you we're having another you can get one like that and repaint it" Who says he's crazy because he wants that too?!

.................... I dont know. I wish i could discuss this without this fear of being released..................

~me